Category: First Steps

It is through constant forgiveness that we become like God.  Forgiveness from the heart is very, very difficult.  It is next to impossible.  Jesus said to his disciples: “When your brother wrongs you seven times a day and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I am sorry,’ you must forgive him.”   I have often said, “I forgive you,” but even as I said these words my heart remained angry or resentful.  I still wanted to hear the story that tells me that I was right after all; I still wanted to hear apologies and excuses; I still wanted the satisfaction of receiving some praise in return—if only the praise for being so forgiving!   But God’s forgiveness is unconditional; it comes from a heart that does not demand anything for itself, a heart that is completely empty of self-seeking.  It is this divine forgiveness that I have to practice in my daily life.  It calls me to keep stepping over all my arguments that say forgiveness is unwise, unhealthy, and unpractical.  It challenges me to step over all my needs for gratitude and compliments.  Finally, it demands of me that I step over that wounded part of my heart that feels hurt and wronged and that wants to stay in control and put a few conditions between me and the one whom I am asked to forgive.   This “stepping over” is the authentic discipline of forgiveness.  Maybe it is more “climbing over” than “stepping over.”  Often, I have to climb over the wall of arguments and angry feelings that I have erected between myself and all those whom I love but who so often do not return that love.  It is a wall of fear of being used or hurt again.  It is a wall of pride, and the desire to stay in control.  But every time that I can step or climb over that wall, I enter into the house where the Father dwells, and there touch my neighbor with genuine compassionate love.”   This is from Henri Nouwen’s The Return of the Prodigal Son.  I think it is a brilliant authentic description of what each person thinks and feels when confronted with forgiving another.  This Week’s Readings: * Monday -1 Corinthians 2 * Tuesday – 1 Corinthians 3 * Wednesday- 1 Corinthians 4 * Thursday – 1 Corinthians 5 * Friday- 1 Corinthians 6 Prayer Requests: *An immediate end to the crisis in Ukraine. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Give our leaders extra wisdom as they navigate this pandemic and economic uncertainty. *Help for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

How challenging it is to accept forgiveness.  To really accept it, to own it, and to possess it, one has to realize there is a need. Likewise, one has to acknowledge that he or she can’t do it alone and that it is a gift of another’s generosity.  How challenging it is indeed to accept God’s forgiveness.  Unfortunately, there is something inside of human nature that resists this degree of grace. On one level, a person either seeks to prove in action or thought, that his/her sin is real-ly too much or dark for God’s grace to overcome.  On another level, one might partially receive God’s grace but on conditional terms, because deep down he or she wants to pay God back for the gift given.  Neither one will do. Eventually, every person has to grapple with a few questions:  Do I honestly want to be forgiven and began a new life in Christ? Do I want to break away from my deep-rooted selfishness and totally surrender my will to God’s grace so that a new day may emerge?  Total surrender involves a regime change where God leads and the person follows.  As long as one believes he or she can dictate the terms or control the outcomes, he or she will always be a hired servant (Luke 15) and push against a wall.  To claim and live into the dignity and place God desires, surrender is a must. This Week’s Readings: * Monday – Galatians 3 * Tuesday – Galatians 4 * Wednesday- Galatians 5 * Thursday – Galatians 6 * Friday- 1 Corinthians 1 Prayer Requests: *An immediate end to the crisis in Ukraine. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Give our leaders extra wisdom as they navigate this pandemic and economic uncertainty. *Help for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

For some people, if they were to be brutally honest with themselves, they would define their identity as, “I’m okay if you are okay with me.”  In some circles, folks may label themselves as helpers, givers, or befrienders. They are generous with their time and resources and excel in relationships. Normally they can sense the needs of another person without being told. Very gifted with discerning the needs of others but struggle with naming their own (needs).  It is here – with their own needs – that God wants to do a good work. When those who need to be needed are most self-aware, they can recognize their own needs and the needs of others. They don’t have to sacrifice themselves for others. It doesn’t have to be “either/or” but “both/and.” If I’m describing you, consider the spiritual discipline of solitude. When one is alone, their focus can be on themself, which is not selfish.  In times of solitude, one’s attention can be redirected inwardly.  Remember, how one loves oneself is the model for how one loves another.   At the same time, focus on who you are in Christ, even if you never help another person. Granted, you might help another person in the future, and odds are you will, but who you are is different from what you do. They are worlds apart. We are healthiest when we know the difference. Finally, practice saying, “No.”  When one is overly focused on other people’s needs at the expense of their own needs, the identity will always be liked to what other people think, say, or do. Instead, one’s identity is linked to God who says, “You are okay because I am okay.  Allow Me to meet your needs.”   This Week’s Readings: * Monday – Mark 14 * Tuesday – Mark 15 * Wednesday- Mark 16 * Thursday – Galatians 1 * Friday- Galatians 2 Prayer Requests: *An immediate end to the crisis in Ukraine. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Give our leaders extra wisdom as they navigate this pandemic and economic uncertainty. *Help for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

I have always enjoyed the writings of Henri Nouwen. During this Lenten Season, I’m rereading different selections from his corpus. In Sabbatical Journey, he wrote: Precisely where we feel most present to each other, we experience deeply the absence of those we love.  And precisely at moments of great loss, we can discover a new sense of closeness and intimacy. This is also what the Eucharist is about. We announce the presence of Christ among us until he comes again! There is both presence and absence, closeness and distance, an experience of at-homeness on the way home. I was struck again by the paradox that loving someone deeply means opening yourself to the pain of her or his absence. Lent is a time to get in touch with our experience of absence, emptiness, unfulfillment so that in the midst of our overcrowded lives we can remind ourselves that we are still waiting for the One who has promised to fulfill our deepest desires. During this season of Lent, I hope you will afford yourself some time for contemplation where you reflect on the experience of emptiness. In doing so, see yourself being filled by God’s Spirit leading you home.    This Week’s Readings: * Monday – Mark 9 * Tuesday – Mark 10 * Wednesday- Mark 11 * Thursday – Mark 12 * Friday- Mark 13 Prayer Requests: *An immediate end to the crisis in Ukraine. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Give our leaders extra wisdom as they navigate this pandemic and economic uncertainty. *Help for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

Are you a perfectionist?  If so, then you are normally loyal, hardworking, love routines and finite outcomes.  Often, you are a systematic rule follower, very ethical, and reliable.  At the same time, you have a strong moral code that sees the world in black and white, rights and wrongs. However, there is a strong inner voice that speaks in tones of criticism and judgment.  When a perfectionist makes a misstep, normally self-hatred isn’t far away.  Similarly, when others don’t perform or see the world as you do, anger is a quick emotion.   If you are a perfectionist, I hope you will do two things: Embrace Sabbath this week.  There will always be something more to do.  Equally important, there is a need to stop and just be.  Allow God to calm that inner voice so that God’s Spirit can say to you, “You are my beloved.”  Say the phrase, “Done is better than Perfect.”  Some things won’t be perfect.  The good news is they don’t have to be.  Done is better than perfect.   Here is the gospel lesson, Christ’s Righteousness is Our Righteousness.  One will never be perfect enough to merit God’s love.  God loves because He is love.  My prayer for you is that you will know that you are both a sinner and a saint and God’s grace is sufficient today.     This Week’s Readings: * Monday – Mark 4 * Tuesday – Mark 5 * Wednesday- Mark 6 * Thursday – Mark 7 * Friday- Mark 8 Prayer Requests: *An immediate end to the crisis in Ukraine. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Give our leaders extra wisdom as they navigate this pandemic and economic uncertainty. *Help for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

It seems that human beings cannot see what they are not readied to see, and they cannot hear what we have not been prepared to hear—A Christian Mystic.    When it comes to certain parts of my identity and life—the good parts—I want to hear them.  I’m ready to hear them.  Actually, can’t wait to hear them or see them.  But the parts that I keep hidden, the parts of my identity that I want to keep under lock-and-key, I definitely want no part of them.  In essence, I practice denial.  If I acknowledge that it is there, then I have to confront it and address it.  Frankly, it is easier to lock it away and the longer I do, the easier it is to forget it.   Yet, it is exactly in those broken and deprived areas that the Holy Spirit wants to work. Strange as it may sound, the more I try to stuff it in a box, the more the Holy Spirit wants to get it out, in the open, to redeem it.  As I think about it, a willingness to accept God’s grace, plant my feet firmly on the hope of resurrection, requires courage–vulnerability.  It is not the courage to pretend I’ve got it all together which is really a sacred weakness.  It is the courage to stand before God knowing I’m in desperate need of God, and if there is transformation, it is an act from his hand.   So, before I do anything, I need to come to grips with what I cannot see nor hear.  Therefore, my prayer is: “Dear Lord, I’m open to seeing and hearing what you want to say.  Scary as it may be, revealing as it may be, I’m ready.  Trembling but ready and trusting in your Spirit to make all things well.  O God, please begin.  Amen.”   This Week’s Readings: * Monday – Acts 27 * Tuesday – Acts 28 * Wednesday- Mark 1 * Thursday – Mark 2 * Friday- Mark 3 Prayer Requests: *An immediate end to the crisis in Ukraine. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Give our leaders extra wisdom as they navigate this pandemic and economic uncertainty. *Help for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6