| Often when someone loses a friend there is something I call Ambiguous Anger. When we lose someone, we grieve normally channeled in anger. Our response to loss is voiced in anger, but the difficulty is we canāt put our finger on it. It is ambiguous in nature, as if just beyond our fingertips. We know something isnāt right, something is not as we want it, but we struggle, and many times canāt give the right expression, so out comes anger. This is especially true when someone dies unexpectedly and without notice, and we didnāt have a chance to express certain thoughts or affections before he/she died. Sometimes we blame, withdraw, or try to rationalize our pain but seldom find the right expression of what is churning on the inside. Much of grief is finding the right expression. This struggle is only compounded when one dies suddenly and prematurely. How many times have you thought, āI should have saidā¦ā or āI wish he/she knew ā¦ā? What do we do when we are muddled in a situation like this? First, make an honest assessment of your actions. Often, one has expressed their love, gratitude, and appreciation in life, but our sadness works to prevent us from seeing all the times we did show love to the departed. Second, express your pain to God in prayer. If much of grief is finding the right expression, then express all emotions to God. Surely, God is big enough to handle our pain and sadness, for one only needs to look to the Psalms to see the many times God welcomes human expression in all forms. Third, donāt miss future opportunities to voice gratitude, appreciation, and/or love. Though we might not be able to change the past, we can change the future. Proper expressions always make the transition of grief easier. There will always be sadness associated with a loss, but how and at what speed one transitions through the grief process is dependent upon our expressions.  Ā This Week’s Readings: *Monday – John 16 *Tuesday – John 17 *Wednesday – John 18 *Thursday – John 19 *Friday – John 20 Prayer Requests: *Teachers, students, and parents coping with anxiety. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Wisdom for our leaders as they navigate through uncertain times. *Guidance for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC. |
| āDonāt worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.ā – Philippians 4:6 |