Author: Cindy Lee

Often when someone loses a friend there is something I call Ambiguous Anger. When we lose someone, we grieve normally channeled in anger. Our response to loss is voiced in anger, but the difficulty is we can’t put our finger on it. It is ambiguous in nature, as if just beyond our fingertips. We know something isn’t right, something is not as we want it, but we struggle, and many times can’t give the right expression, so out comes anger. This is especially true when someone dies unexpectedly and without notice, and we didn’t have a chance to express certain thoughts or affections before he/she died. Sometimes we blame, withdraw, or try to rationalize our pain but seldom find the right expression of what is churning on the inside. Much of grief is finding the right expression. This struggle is only compounded when one dies suddenly and prematurely. How many times have you thought, “I should have said…” or “I wish he/she knew …”? What do we do when we are muddled in a situation like this? First, make an honest assessment of your actions. Often, one has expressed their love, gratitude, and appreciation in life, but our sadness works to prevent us from seeing all the times we did show love to the departed. Second, express your pain to God in prayer. If much of grief is finding the right expression, then express all emotions to God. Surely, God is big enough to handle our pain and sadness, for one only needs to look to the Psalms to see the many times God welcomes human expression in all forms. Third, don’t miss future opportunities to voice gratitude, appreciation, and/or love. Though we might not be able to change the past, we can change the future. Proper expressions always make the transition of grief easier. There will always be sadness associated with a loss, but how and at what speed one transitions through the grief process is dependent upon our expressions.   This Week’s Readings: *Monday – John 16 *Tuesday – John 17 *Wednesday – John 18 *Thursday – John 19 *Friday – John 20 Prayer Requests: *Teachers, students, and parents coping with anxiety. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Wisdom for our leaders as they navigate through uncertain times. *Guidance for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

What is the value of a calm soul? When we flee from meddling in the affairs of others, it is hard to own their anxiety. A patient person will outlive other people’s problems. Though it is impossible to live where nothing displeases or bothers you; however, we don’t have to feed it. When someone slanders, speaks harshly, or lashes out, no immediate response is needed. When we focus to calm our own souls, we are less likely to add fuel to the fire. Delay and pray normally is a good practice. God supports the meek. They are the ones that are not weak but have a controlled strength. They find solace in trusting God and relying on His care. Remember the words of the Psalmist (Psalm 37): “Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. 3 Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. 9 For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. 10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. 11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.” These are words to live by and put into practice. So be it for you.   This Week’s Readings: *Monday – John 6 *Tuesday – John 7 *Wednesday – John 8 *Thursday – John 9 *Friday – John 10 Prayer Requests: *Teachers, students, and parents coping with anxiety. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Wisdom for our leaders as they navigate through uncertain times. *Guidance for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

“Where is God in the middle of this?”  This was the question a spiritual director asked a group of pastors discussing the state of affairs. Like the other pastors around me, I feigned interest for part of me didn’t want to consider the question. It is easier to blame someone or something for what one dislikes or disagrees with.  Rarely does one take ownership.  Rarer still is the one who will begin with his/her own actions to see how those actions have affected another.   After a few moments, the director asked again, “Where is God in the middle of this…what does God want you to learn?” As I reflect upon this experience, I wonder how many arguments, frustrations, and disagreements would have instantly dissolved if I began with my part of the dysfunction or disagreement instead of pointing the finger at the other person.  I wonder how much peace I have forfeited, how much time wasted by not first looking inward.   There is a prayer exercise that I do either before I go to bed or when I wake up. I examine the past 24 hours of my life. I look for those places where I’ve added to another person, where I brought joy, and reflected the image of Christ to others. I pray for more of these events and opportunities. Likewise, I look for those times when I have detracted, not modeled Christ, and not put my best foot forward. I try not to offer excuses or justifications but simply own my intent and actions. Then, I pray for awareness to know when I’m not modeling my Lord.  Awareness is the key, for I can’t mature or become the person I want to become without it.  At some point, we all must become comfortable with answering the question, “Where is God in the middle of this?”  Perhaps there lies the best opportunity to grow.      This Week’s Readings: *Monday – John 1 *Tuesday – John 2 *Wednesday – John 3 *Thursday – John 4 *Friday – John 5 Prayer Requests: *Teachers, students, and parents coping with anxiety. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Wisdom for our leaders as they navigate through uncertain times. *Guidance for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

For almost 20 years I have been part of a group of clergy who have worked hard to form and maintain a proper Sabbath boundary. Born out of a recognized need in our own lives, we started meeting a few times each year for study, service, and relaxation. Eventually, we started teaching other clergy groups how to maintain a healthy balance between work, family, and self-identity. The need for a proper balance is not limited to clergy, it is a human need and one that most struggle to maintain. How many people perceive their sense of self from what they do? Their work defines them and they can’t perceive anything other than their work. Unfortunately, when work fades, the house of cards comes tumbling down. It is incredibly difficult to rebuild a new identity when for years it has been nonexistent because one has only viewed things through the lens of a job. As backward as it sounds, taking time for yourself to create and maintain a healthy balance makes someone more productive in their profession. People are more focused when there is a healthy balance between work, rest, and play. When there is a healthy balance, people are happier, more relaxed, and less anxious. Work is something one does; it is not who one is. Though it takes effort and time to establish Sabbath boundaries, it is well worth it. A person’s real strength and wisdom are knowing when boundaries need to be established. Ask God to help you establish what God wants to give to you—a life of balance of work, rest, and play.   This Week’s Readings: *Monday – 1 Peter 4 *Tuesday – 1 Peter 5 *Wednesday – 2 Peter 1 *Thursday – 2 Peter 2 *Friday – 2 Peter 3 Prayer Requests: *Teachers, students, and parents coping with anxiety. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Wisdom for our leaders as they navigate through uncertain times. *Guidance for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

“Get through it to get to it”—Admiral Barry Black (Chaplain to the US Senate). Some things in life can’t be dodged, avoided, or sidetracked for they must be faced.  It has been my experience that when faced with those decisions or circumstances it is better to reach a place of resolve and journey forward step by step.  Unfortunately, people mistake the slow process of one step at a time with inertia.  They are worlds apart.  Although the process is slow, one step at a time is still moving forward. The Israelite leader, Moses, would agree.  After leading the Children of Israel out of Egypt he was faced with the Red Sea (Exodus 14).  Some wanted to return to Egypt resulting in slavery.  Others wanted to sit still and do nothing.  However, God told Moses to journey forward.  Step by step, little by little, they pressed.  With each step, they faced different obstacles, one by one, until eventually, they saw the boundary of the Promise Land.   Sometimes one must get through it to get to it.  What is promised is not the number of steps traveled or the length of time it takes to reach the end, but that God will be with you throughout the journey. Remember this for it is a great blessing. I remind you of this because you might be in a situation that looks daunting and insurmountable.  Don’t run from it.  Resolve yourself to the journey before you and trust that God will be with you every step along the way.     This Week’s Readings: *Monday – James 4 *Tuesday – James 5 *Wednesday – 1 Peter 1 *Thursday – 1 Peter 2 *Friday – 1 Peter 3 Prayer Requests: *Teachers, students, and parents coping with anxiety. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Wisdom for our leaders as they navigate through uncertain times. *Guidance for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6

September 19, 2022 A wise man once said: “If we run from one danger, another one will catch us. If we recover from a fever, we have merely been spared suffering paralysis or something. After you have struggled to preserve your life and limbs, you are helpless to hold on to them. Death is inevitable. During the time when Christians were martyred, some denied their Lord to save their own lives. Are any still alive today? They lost everything. Consider events in the future as already done. They will result in little or nothing, just like events in the past. Think about what remains for you. Either you have God, or you have nothing.” A bit direct, maybe a little harsh and fatalistic, but worth considering, nonetheless. I like the bit about considering tomorrow’s events as if already taken place. Some things in life we can’t control or dodge, all we can do is decide how we will face them. Consider what remains – either we have God, or we have nothing.   This Week’s Readings: *Monday – Hebrews 12 *Tuesday – Hebrews 12 *Wednesday – James 1 *Thursday – James 2 *Friday – James 3 Prayer Requests: *Teachers, students, and parents coping with anxiety. *Heal those who are sick and protect those who are not. *Comfort those who are grieving and in distress. *Wisdom for our leaders as they navigate through uncertain times. *Guidance for those seeking to find their way. *Continued Growth Inside and Outside the Walls of St. Paul UMC.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.” – Philippians 4:6